Grief-stricken woman wonders if she can ‘sneak out’ of a friend’s father-daughter dance

A grieving Reddit user has been reassured by others on the social media site that skipping out during a friend’s “father-daughter” wedding dance would not be inappropriate after she — the Reddit user — shared her worries and conflicted feelings about the sentimental moment.

A user by the name of “Wakalakatime” asked others if she would seem like a jerk “for leaving my friend’s wedding party during the father-daughter dance?”

She shared her query on Reddit’s “Am I the A*****e” (AITA) subreddit on Dec. 30, 2022.

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The user said she had recently lost her own father — and that the two “were incredibly close and the grief has been all-consuming” for her.

She added, “I don’t enjoy social events anymore because the grief follows me like a dark cloud, but I’ve agreed to go to my friend’s wedding, which is abroad.”

A Reddit user, 28 years old, explained to others that her father recently passed away — and she’s worried she’ll get too emotional during a friend’s father-daughter wedding dance. She’d like to avoid watching her friend dance with her father. She told others, “I don’t enjoy social events anymore” because of the grief she’s still experiencing over the loss of her father.

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“Wakalakatime” and her friend are both 28-year-old women, she said.

In addition to the emotional challenges for her of attending her friend’s wedding, “Wakalakatime” said she has a “breastfed infant” at home whom she’ll be leaving behind with her mom while she travels.

While “Wakalakatime” said she knows she will need to “be a supportive and happy presence” for her friend on the woman’s wedding day, she does not think she’ll be able to handle the father-daughter dance portion of the event.

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“My husband has suggested we quietly pop outside for some air during this, and I like the idea,” she said.

However, one of her colleagues – a 38-year-old woman whom “Wakalakatime” said is “wedding obsessed” – disagreed with her plan.

The colleague “implied that I would be [the jerk] for ‘making it about myself,'” she wrote on Reddit.

“It’s only one song, and we should be able to sneak out without anyone noticing, but now I’m questioning the whole thing,” the woman also shared.

wedding invite

A Reddit user said she and her husband are planning to sneak off quietly during a friend’s wedding reception while the friend dances with her father in front of the assembled guests. But now she’s questioning her decision — and asked for advice and input from others.

Fox News Digital reached out to “Wakalakatime” for comment.

On the AITA subreddit, Redditors can reply to posts saying that the poster is “NTA” (“Not the A*****e”), “YTA” (“You’re the A*****e”), “NAH” (“No A*****e Here”) or “ESH” (“Everyone Sucks Here”).

Users can also “upvote” responses they think are helpful and “downvote” ones that are not.

Every other Redditor who replied to the post said that “Wakalakatime” would not be acting poorly if she made a discrete exit during the father-daughter dance at her friend’s wedding.

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The top upvoted comment, written by Reddit user “MbMinx,” said that “there’s nothing rude about” stepping out of the reception for a moment, “especially if you just go quietly.”

“I lost my father almost 10 years ago, and I would still struggle watching a father-daughter dance,” this person wrote.

“Grief is like that,” she said.

Wedding locations

Quietly leaving during an emotional time at someone else’s wedding is perfectly fine, an array of Reddit users told “Wakalakatime” a few days ago. Wrote one person, “The bride and groom not only likely won’t mind but won’t even notice.”

“You aren’t making the moment ‘about you.’ You are planning to let them have their moment. We can’t turn our feelings off just because others might find them inconvenient,” the same individual wrote.

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The person also wrote, “Anyone who sees wedding etiquette as more important than literal life and death is just plain wrong.”

Yet another person wrote to her, “Really, the bride and groom not only likely won’t mind but won’t even notice. When I got married, I was so busy that I didn’t notice what individual people were doing.”

wedding rings

Closeup of a groom placing a wedding ring on a bride’s hand. “You’re spot-on and doing the right thing,” one person wrote to the Reddit user who is worried about her plan to step away from the reception during the father-daughter dance.

Other people, though, were critical of the “wedding-obsessed” coworker.

“Your colleague is a massive AH. Just putting that out there. Anyone who sees wedding etiquette as more important than literal life and death is just plain wrong,” wrote a Reddit user who goes by the name “mynamecouldbesam.”

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“She’s a bully. I’m so sorry. I lost my father when I was 15 and our weddings were hard for both my sister and I. She clearly doesn’t understand the grief,” wrote Reddit user “Lucia_of_Carlentini.”

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“Stepping outside is actually the kind thing to do. If you stayed [inside] and started crying, that might actually cause a scene. You’re spot on and doing the right thing,” this user added.

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